QUOTE LIST, as of 01 July
Journal Entry: Tue Jul 1, 2008, 3:37 PM
- Mood:
Humor - Listening to: "Far Away" by Nickelback
- Reading: my quote page
- Watching: Next FN Star
- Playing: The Sims II
- Eating: a lunchable
- Drinking: lemonade
"I think I just catechized."
-me
"And he who tooteth his own horn, the same shall not be tooted."
-The Gospel According to Dr. Bennett
me: "So what's the policy on kicking seats in this car?"
Dr. Bennett: "You do it once. Then you walk."
"You too, pog! I mean, Dr. Pog. Dr. Elder Pog. Sir."
-me
"Y'all are like what the Partridge Family would be like without their medication."
-me
"And then Buddha went on Atkins and became Jesus."
-the Gospel According to Anna Howell
"Can I just make a minor adjustment here?"
-Emily Green
Emily Green and me: "Ooooh! Pretty!"
Erica Harper: "Will y'all two stop playing in the glitter?!"
Emily Green: "But it's shiny."
"Well, not to, like, see anyone's boobs or anything."
-Emily Green
Me: "You're actually really cool outside of work!"
Rebecca Rawls: "Yeah, because I get to say fuck all the time!"
"It's the weekend and my boobs are not in a bra! Yaaaaaay!"
-Rebecca Rawls
"Attention campers: your counselors have been replaced by five-year-olds. Be afraid."
-Jessica Davenport
"Well, at least your parents are RICH and embarrassing!"
-Missy Vaughan-Kleppel
"Miss Emily G's class! Stop touching my balls! Helen! Hollis! Get away from my ba...wait a minute..."
-Kasie Starnes (referring to the basketballs in the gym)
Kasie Starnes: "Jackson! Get your hand out of your pants!"
Random FADC child: "But Miss Kasie, my penis isn't in the right place."
(This was said by a four-year-old, and apparently he was as serious as a heart attack.)
"I got to use my metaphorical red pen! Mwahahaha."
- Mrs. Bennett
"Aww, I feel sorry for you. Wait a minute. No I don't. Hahahaha..."
-Samantha Price
Kasie Starnes: "He really is a sweet little kid."
me: "Yeah, he just has sweet little horns."
"Well if he falls off and breaks his legs, at least he won't come back."
-Kasie Starnes
"There's nothing on earth that could make you be a good child, is there?"
-Katherine Woodward
Me: "Yeah, we seem to have a behavior problem this session."
Kim Shorter: "Does this problem start with L and end with iam?"
"Basically, they were telling Jesus, 'You're NUTS!'"
-Pastor Coleman
"Ants do not like bubble gum."
-Anna Grace Bennett
"This is NOT five dollars worth of fabric. My father is a textile salesman. I know these things."
-me
"Sometimes it doesn't need toner. Sometimes all it needs is a little talking-to."
-Mrs. Bennett
"I think my new favorite oxymoron is 'Microsoft Works!'"
-Mrs. Bennett
"I'm afraid of nature!"
-Erica Harper
"Honey, I love you, but the way you're sitting is breaking my foot."
-Katherine Woodward
"I know I look like a swamp beast, but y'all have GOT to keep your eyes on me!"
-Katherine Woodward
"I see a lot of little hineys that need to make friends with a chair!"
-me
"Wait a minute, are there two of them in the same st... oh, dear Lord."
-Mari Hazel
Rebecca Rawls: "Ya know what we need at our staff meetings? Booze for the grown ups."
me: "Can I have some too?"
Rebecca: "Oh GOD no."
Kim Shorter: "What flavor is this green Kool-Aid?"
Me: "I'm fairly certain it's straight dookie."
Kim: "I gotta try this!"
Me: "You're very aerodynamically effective."
Kasie Starnes: "Uh, was that a compliment?"
Me: "I think so."
"Your superhuman pianistic abilities fascinate me."
-me
"FRONT HINEY!"
-Jessica Davenport
"I have seen far too many five-year-old hineys today."
-Jessica Davenport
"Miss Emily? When is Miss Jessica going to play the hobo for us?"
-random FADC child (she meant "oboe".)
"Can I be in your cataclysm class?"
-me (I meant "catechism".)
Lydia Anthony: "Want some cake?"
Sarah Coleman: "DON'T GIVE HER THAT!"
"Miss Kim and Miss Anna are using their outdoor voices!!!"
-random FADC child
Emily Green: "Uh, Anna? I'm going to get my purse. I'll be right back; just make sure the kids don't kill each other, okay?"
Me: "Can I kill them?"
Emily: "No. But thanks for asking."
me: "I'm going out with Anna Grace and Sarah. We're going shopping."
my father: "For thongs?"
me: "Probably."
Me: "This is the second kid I've had to get an ice pack for today."
Samantha Price: "Me too."
Me: "And my eighth boo boo today in total."
Samantha: "I've probably had more."
Jessica Davenport: "I had to wipe someone's butt today. And it was a boy."
Me: "Jessica wins."
"You cannot live on spiritual cotton candy!"
-Pastor Coleman
"Come along, Pepper. We have Twizzlers to pillage."
-me
"Uh, Dr. Dunbar? We have a saliva situation."
-Dr. Rogers
"BUTT NEKKID COOKIN' EGGS!"
-My sister and me, interjected at random moments
"There seems to be a sixth grade nudist colony in my kitchen. Can someone please explain this to me?"
-me
"And ya know what's scary? It's only nine in the morning, and that isn't even the dorkiest thing she's said today."
-Claire Howell
"You disturb my life!"
-Anissa Hames
"Oooh honey! You need to get some Divine Beauty for them ASHY LEGS!"
-Claire Howell
"People don't hit fans, Sarah. Shit does."
-me
"I am wearing women's underwear AND a control top. Clearly, I love Jesus a whole lot."
-me
Daniel: "So one time, I had this hamster..."
Entire Bennett Family: "DANIEL!!!"
Mrs. Bennett: "What are you INFANTS doing?!"
Dr. Bennett: "I dunno. I was just happy!"
"I dunno, the image of Abraham tying his ass to a tree always gave me the giggles."
-Anna Grace Bennett
"Here, have a big ol' Presbyterian cup of love!"
-Sarah Coleman
"By the way sweetie, feel free to NOT call me while you're in labor."
-me
"Let me tell you a tragic story about fashion. (points to me) That. The end."
-my sister Claire
"Do YOU want to come to the PARTY? The PARTY in my TUMMY?"
-Kim Shorter
"We're crisising in here. Big time"
-Janae O'Shields
"Oh, you didn't miss much. Just a mild concussion in small group."
-Emily Green
"Will someone please caffienate my sister?"
-Claire Howell
"I'm greatly enjoying this megaphone right now."
-Katherine Woodward
"You can't say tiddly winks on the radio! Only on television!"
-Peter Collins
------
WHO PEOPLE ARE:
My sister Claire: the adorable but demonic twelve-year-old who graces Daddy's and my life on the odd-numbered weekends of every other month.
Pastor Coleman: The pastor at Providence
Sarah Coleman: my friend; the pastor's daughter
Emily Green: my supervisor at camp
Lydia Anthony: a friend from church
Anissa Hames: a friend from school
Sarah Fife: a friend and somewhat of a writing mentor, who understands the sanctity of quote lists
Jessica Davenport, Kim Shorter, Katherine Woodward, Samantha Price, Kasie Starnes, Mari Hazel, Rebecca Rawls, Erica Harper: coworkers at camp
Janae O'Shields: my boss at camp
FADC stands for Fine Arts Day Camp, my job.
Dr. Rogers: My dentist, my mentor, and my hero.
Anna Grace Bennett: my best friend, the subject of most of the stuff I submit on dA
Michael and Daniel Bennett: Anna Grace's brothers, whose respective ages are 24 and 16.
Dr. and Mrs. Bennett: Anna Grace's parents
Peter Collins: My boyfriend, currently serving this great country in the Marine Corps.
