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Since Im from South Carolina, it stands to reason that I would have an opinion of the whole Governor Sandford thing. Once again, our state has made less-than-flattering national news headlines that our friends up north find hilarious. Except this time, its not some redneck standing outside the Piggly Wiggly announcing on national television the latest improvements to his trailer that he hopes to make with his newly-won lottery money, or some redneck calling Barack Obama the n word during a random televised street poll on Election Day. Its the redneck that nearly every adult I know voted to put in our states Governors Mansion down in Columbia. And guess what got him on the news?
Yup, our governor has now joined the legion of Cheating SOB Politicians. From Thomas Jeffersons baby momma drama (1802) to the allegations of Grover Cleveland being a nonconsecutive two-timing kind of guy in more than just his presidential terms (1884) to Bill Clinton being Monicas harmonica (1998), our presidents and other political leaders have a pretty long rap sheet of sex scandals.
But does Governor Sandfords affair constitute relevant news, or just too much information?
When you were in sixth grade, you probably had that awkward semester in your science class. You know what Im talking about. Mrs. Coopers fabulous pencil-going-into-the-pencil-sharpener demonstration of where babies come from. And if youre like me, you were gobsmacked with the realization, Oh my GOD, my PARENTS did that! And that was a pretty horrifying thought, wasnt it? In fact, even now at nearly eighteen years old and by no means a virginI still cringe at the thought of my parents getting their groove on.
So why in the name of God would we want to know about our Governor doing it?
In my opinion, this whole scandal is a big load of TMI, or in other words, Too Much Information. I mean, the fact that the governor kind of disappeared for a week without telling anyone, thats kind of relevant. And if during that disappearance, he had been, say, selling nuclear secrets to North Korea, I would want to know about that. I want to know what hes doing with my dads tax dollars, what he plans to do to improve my public high schools embarrassing dropout rate, and where he stands on gay marriage and the Blue laws. But I really dont want to know if hes been doing the dirty, and with whom, and I certainly don't want to read online excerpts from his not-exactly-family-friendly emails with her.
Im not saying he was right to do it; Im just saying its none of our business. But I also think, and I say this with all the respect and Carolina pride in the world, that he needs to shut the heck up about it.
Okay, so when you screw up, you want to admit you screwed up, and apologize. I get that. And I totally respect that he didnt say under oath I did not have sexual relations with that woman, or otherwise try and deceive the public about it. I'm all for fessing up to your mistake and apologizing.
But good lord, Governor Sandford, how many times do you have to say it? Every single day hes on the front cover of my local newspaper issuing some statement about the situation. He has committed marital and political suicide.
My advice to him is to, in the eloquent words of the rapper Lil Wayne, "take them shoes off yo teeth, and quit runnin yo mouth."
A very good next step for him would be to be very quiet until he gets his crap together and figures out where to go from here. He really needs to use his head (the one on his shoulders) and think long and hard (pardon the pun) about the direction his life is going, and how to best rectify his mistake.
So what do you think? Leave a comment on the blog if you have an opinion.
Sources:
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